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Archive for June, 2011

Raising Girls!

RAISING A GIRL, WHO WOULDA’ THOUGHT…

  1. That changing clothes twenty times can be a person’s favorite after-school activity.
  2. Peanut butter does NOT get gum out of a person’s hair.
  3. Five girls hiding in a closet can scream like twenty people on a roller coaster when one little boy enters the room.
  4. A person can express every existing emotion with different levels of an ear-piercing scream – HAPPY, SAD, ANGRY, SCARED… you name it!
  5. Three is ALWAYS a crowd, throwing off the hyper-sensitive complexities of the friendship dynamic.
  6. A person can have a wardrobe rivaling the Queen of England and still have nothing to wear.
  7. On the other hand, one’s favorite outfit never actually makes it to the closet due to the endless cycle of going from washer to dryer to body (immediately), then back to washer and dryer again.  Repeat…
  8. Barbie Dolls, in spite of the five hundred articles of clothing they have, are always lying around naked.
  9. If a person really likes a pair of shoes, a size 13 kids CAN squeeze into a size 10 1/2.!  “But Mom, it still fits!”
  10. Cat’s do NOT like wearing hats and doll clothes.
  11. Trying to remove nail polish from the table with nail polish remover also removes the lovely finish.
  12. Tiny, fancy stickers do NOT come off furniture – EVER!
  13. An entire addition to the public library can be funded solely by one family.
  14. There needs to be a translater present to understand the conversation between a middle school girl and her friends.
  15. Boys, whose very presence is a tragic nuisance to be endured can inspire such a compelling need to chase them around the playground.
  16. Wars can be started over someone rolling their eyes, a loud, disgruntled sigh, or a funny look.
  17. A ruined hair cut can be a VERY emotional event.

???????????????  I guess life is never dull for the mother of girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Raising a Boy!

RAISING A BOY, WHO WOULDA’ THOUGHT…

  1. Bodily functions could be so hilarious… or the topic of dinner conversations.
  2. Someone can spend 90 minutes having fun by hitting a tree with a stick.
  3. Ordinary rocks dug from the dirt or found on the street can become a valuable collector’s item.
  4. A tiny person, when angry, can yell at the top of their lungs and stomp with the strength of an elephant all while running up a flight of carpeted stairs at the speed of light.
  5. You can make $3.50 selling lemonade for $.25 on a dead end street, partially hidden under a carport, even when no one knows you are there.
  6. Someone would even WANT to where the same pants and underwear three days in a row — thinking no one notices because you have changed your shirt!
  7. A person CAN eat about a half a pound of spaghetti in only one bite, as long as you hold your face a quarter inch from the plate!
  8. A fake spider can cause a grown woman to scream hysterically just by being placed strategically near the eggs in the refrigerator!
  9. Some people apparently can shower in 60 seconds, including washing all body parts and hair.  Not to mention that although shampoo & conditioner have been used, the top of the head somehow remains dry.
  10. An average sized bedroom can retain the overwhelming odor of an old pair of sneakers for about ten days after the offending objects have been removed.
  11. A wide, big toothed smile can be so sweet and so “evil” at the same time.
  12. The untimely death of a frog can be such a tragic loss (and make a sensible woman want to turn back time and save the creature after witnessing such sincere heartbreak and big, sad tears).
  13. That making a smoothie in the kitchen can be such a complicated event, ending with the kitchen looking like it has suffered the horrible after-effects of a vicious tornado.
  14. That it only takes about ten minutes to restore a bedroom to its previously messy condition, even though it has taken over six hours straight to clean  it.
  15. That beating the tar out of each other can be so much fun for best friends.

???????????????  I guess life is never dull for the mother of a boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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