I grew up in a small town in Maine and now I live in a small town in Pennsylvania. I just can’t seem to get away from this setting! The truth is I don’t really like small towns. Everybody knows everyone’s business, true or not, and gossip is a favorite pastime. Let me just say, I HATE GOSSIP! It is so frustrating. Sometimes word travels so fast that as soon as it happens you are getting phone calls about it. Especially with the vast population on Facebook and Twitter and the ever-growing number of people with I-phones. Now it’s not just headlines in the Post Gazette, but THE WORLD is being informed of all your business!
HOW FRUSTRATING this can be! Gossip makes me want to throw my hands up in the air and scream! (Especially when it’s hurtful towards my family.) But most of all it makes me want to be above that kind of behavior!
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. – Proverbs 18:21
You know what I see when I read that verse? My words can bring joy or pain (life or death) to someone. Also, whichever I chose (to “love” talking about) will be the FRUIT THAT I EAT! Yikes! If I have to eat my own words or they come back in my face, it better be from saying GOOD things about others!
Someone recently said to me, “So & so is talking about you behind your back.” And I replied, “Well, hopefully they are saying something nice!” and then left it at that.
I have to admit that I’m not always able to brush it off like that! Sometimes I get so mad I want to smack someone! (Don’t worry, I would never follow through with that thought.)
So what DO you do to combat gossip? Here are three simple things that are easy to say, but hard to do:
- Live above reproach… meaning don’t give them something bad to gossip about. We all make mistakes, but you can try your hardest not to constantly do stupid things (or make the same mistakes over & over) that keep people talking.
- Don’t participate in gossip yourself! It will come back to bite you! Change the subject or flat out say you don’t want to hear it when someone wants to gossip.
- Remember that verse in Proverbs? Well, LOVE life, bring joy, and speak kind words about others. If you can’t, remember this, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” (Mom)
One more scripture:
When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. — Proverbs 10:19
I think some people are so use to gossip that they don’t even realize they are doing it and when someone takes the higher road and doesn’t participate it’s like a wake up call to the gossiper that they are in the wrong. Christians of all people should know better not to gossip but unfornately sometimes they are the worst. I think people should put themselves in the other’s position and ask themselves if they would want that said about themselves if they were in that person’s position. I guess what the root issue is that one someone gossips they are really showing how full of pride they are. I always remember when someone told me be careful to judge a person and say, I would never do that because the moment you say that you are probably going to make the same mistake.
Very true… all of it! Gossip is something that is always SO TEMPTING to fall into. It makes you feel better about yourself somehow, when you can compare yourself to another person’s failures. It is especially hard when it is a person you do not like or someone you would like to see taken down a couple of notches. STILL WRONG, but extremely difficult. You are dead on about the “pride” issue.
When faced with gossip, my thoughts always turn to my mistakes. I am a million miles from perfect and wouldn’t want people talking about it. Sometimes when someone tries gossiping to me, my first instinct is to wonder what they say about me behind my back. Yikes! IT TAKES GUTS to call someone out on gossip, not enough people do it. I have a hard time too, so usually just casually change the subject. I probably need to be stronger on addressing the issue. Ouch!