Archive for December, 2015

The “One”

And the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” — Mark 10:8-9 (NIV)

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Uncle Steve & Aunt Cindy

How do you know when a person is the “One?” one of my kids recently asked me. I told them some things to look for, and that it would also come as a feeling deep in your soul.


But… feelings can be tricky and deceptive, so maybe I should’ve started with this advice instead. (I’m a list person, so bear with me.) Also, some things may be a little different for guys and girls.


Seven things to look for BEFORE you get too caught up with your feeeeeeelings:


  1. Both: Shares the same faith as you! Some people may think this is insignificant, but in reality this cannot be emphasized enough. Relationships are hard! When you get married, two self-centered people are learning to live together. It seems romantic at first, but that fades when disagreements come to the surface. You don’t need to add disunity in your faith as well! You need to be on the same page where this is concerned! Present and future problems arise when this is not the case.


  1. Both:             This relationship will MAKE YOU A BETTER PERSON, and that goes for him/her as well. YOU WILL BE GOOD FOR EACH OTHER, pushing each other towards better things. If you find yourself unhappy with who you are most of the time, lying about things, spiraling downward, or changing for the worse, that person is NOT the one for you.

Girls:              He makes you feel amazing… beautiful… smart… treasured… the list goes on. If he makes you feel terrible much of the time, he’s NOT the one for you.

Guys:              She accepts you for who you are, with all of your idiosyncrasies. If she immediately wants to change you, she’s NOT the one for you.


  1. Both:             We are selfish people by nature, but “love” will cause us to constantly put the other person first. If this person steadfastly displays selfish behavior early on, they are NOT the one for you.

Girls:              Guys sometimes take a little longer to see the bigger picture; it’s a huge windfall if he is already putting you first.

Guys:              Most girls are naturally nurturing. She might already be putting you first. Watch out for unhealthy behavior though, such as her losing her identity or becoming too controlling.


  1. Both:             Faithfulness, loyalty, and dependableness are important qualities. If you feel like you can’t trust or rely on this person, they are NOT the one for you.


  1. Both: You are treated as their equal. If they look down on you, make you feel small and not up to their level, they are NOT the one for you.


  1. Both:             You can BE YOURSELF around this person. You don’t have to put on a show for them or try to be someone you are not.


  1. Both:             Unless you live in a crazy home, your families will fall in love with this person too. Remember, your family loves you and knows you like no one else on the planet, so if they see warning signs PLEASE LISTEN.



Remember this:

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? — Jeremiah 17:9


How can we trust our hearts when it comes to dating? We can’t! That’s why it’s good to look for these seven things.


Singles, maybe in addition to this, you should make up your own list? Of course, no one is perfect, but you should at least have a starting point before letting your emotions get the best of you. Then maybe you won’t get hurt as often or end up in the wrong relationship.


The best advice is: “Why not be careful and choosy when making one of THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISIONS OF YOUR LIFE?” It is more important than picking a college (you may end up hating your school)… It is more important than choosing your career (the average person will change careers 5-7 times throughout their life)… It is more important than just about any decision you make on a daily basis.


God loves you and truly wants the best for you, just like I want the best for my children. Don’t ever forget that!

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Grampa (in heaven now) & Grammy Grover


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